Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Today's Post

I wrote today's post yesterday.

My grandma died last night.

I don't feel like writing another post, so here it is:

My grandparents are dying, and I'm stuck on the other side of the country.

My grandma has Alzheimer's, so it's like she's been gone for a while. I miss her so much, but she's technically still here. My grandpa has lung cancer, and the doctors have done all they can do.

I took my boys back to Ohio to see them in November. It was really hard to leave.

My grandma stopped walking, then she stopped talking, then she stopped eating.

My grandpa holds her and tells her he loves her.

They have taken her off all of her medication now except the pain medicine to keep her comfortable.

My boys are having a really hard time. They want to go back and see Grandma and Grandpa, but I can't afford one plane ticket, let alone three.

It's hard to see my boys struggle with the issue of death. It's not fair, and there's nothing I can do to fix it. I just hold them and tell them I love them.

I tell them that we have to accept these things and find peace because life is too short to spend too much of it despairing over things we can't change.

Cole wants to become a scientist and cure death, or at least cancer. Personally, I think he's an artist, but who knows? I think he can do anything he puts his mind to.

I hope he can.

2 comments:

sinincincinnati said...

My deepest condolences.
My mother's parents died before I was born, but I have so many fond memories of my dad's parents. And I know my dad had a very special relationship with his father's mother. She was a large part Cherokee and remembered the Civil War.
Grandparents tend to be positive and non-judgemental. Every child should have the chance to have a good relationship with loving grandparents. Be thankful you have had.

Heather Annastasia said...

Thank you.

I'd like to be able to patch things up with my dad for the boys' sake.

My husband and his mom are seeing a counselor. If that works, maybe it would work for my dad and I.

I don't know, my dad said that I'm dead to him and he won't answer my emails or letters, so I don't even know how I would get him in to a counselor.