Saturday, April 2, 2011

Dear Afghanistan (and Muslims around the World),

I don't know why no one told you this sooner, this is actually kind of embarrasing, and we really couldn't have expected you to know this, but here in this country... um, how can I explain this? OK, in America, we completely disregard anything said or done by people with mullets and/or handlebar mustaches.

They're what we call "rednecks" and "hillbillies." Basically, they tend to be ignorant, racist and hateful people. They love to go around waving the American flag and the Bible, but if you spend more than five minutes talking to them, you'll find out that they know very little about their country and their religion, and they are prone to regurgiate Fox News talking points in lieu of any thoughful political insights.

Yeah, so... I'm sorry to be telling you this after the fact, but "Pastor" Terry Jones has all the tell-tale signs of just being a redneck idiot (I'm not sure why our own media payed him any attention to begin with; they knew better). Anyway, I'm sure this must be very embarrasing for you; being manipulated into a violent frenzy by a gosh-darn hillbilly. Ouch.

In the future, to prevent this kind of thing from happening, it's always a good idea to avoid getting angry when someone who doesn't like you is trying to make you angry. See, if you get angry, then you are giving that person what they want; you are giving them power over you. It's one thing if you are going to hurt the person making you angry, but hurting innocent people, and eachother... well that's just stupid. I mean, that's the kind of thing you'd expect a bunch of rednecks to do.



No comments: